The Tale of the Karate Man - Heeeee-YAAAAAA!

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Over the weekend, I recieved an e-mail from Pat that he acquired something quite special from his local store. In fact, he got 5 of them and the e-mail that went with them. Not wanting to make this place a straight-faced news source or gossip site, I asked Pat to write a story about his special gift. Special thanks should go to Chris and Jessie for their contribution.

As written by Pat Nerr:

Not so long ago in a land not so far way there lived The Karate Man. The Karate Man was passionate about two things in life. Smoothies and Shorin-Ryu Karate. The Karate Man spent his days travelling the world… telling folks about his wonderful Kinetix Protein Smoothies. How the smoothies gave great powers to those brave enough to choke down their fibrous, chalky goodness. Oh how the local villagers loved The Karate Man.

One day, Ol’ King Howard got wind of the influence that The Karate Man had on his subjects. How they would stop and listen to his tales of Smoothies and Karate. The Ol’ King was impressed by The Karate Man’s rugged good looks and beemed at how great it was that The Karate Man was in his Kingdom… how The Karate Man was the next best thing since Frapuccino.

Then, one day… the Ol’ King realized that nobody came to visit him anymore. The villagers were all at The Karate Man’s cafe where he concocted some of the most wonderfully chalky blended beverages ever created. The Ol’ King became jealous. The Karate Man’s manly features and knowledge of Kinetix Protein Powder far surpassed his own. Chet, the short, hunch-backed court jester and village gossip, suggested to the King that he befriend Karate Man…. so that he could gain his confidence and catch him off guard. Chet “Thrived” on such things. And so the Ol’ King did just that. He invited The Karate Man to join the King’s court in celebrating the annual Vivanno Summer kickoff celebration. The Karate Man… sensing no danger… agreed to join the party.

The morning of that Vivanno Summer Kickoff, the Ol’ King had The Karate Man killed. He notified the villagers that The Karate Man was no more. That they were to forget him and celebrate the grandeur that is Ol’ King Howard. The Villagers reluctantly agreed…

So the morale of the story is… Be careful of what Ol’ King Howard invites you to do… or you could end up like The Karate Man.